Holiday Recipe Fails #weekendcooking

Weekend Cooking hosted by The Intrepid Reader includes badge which is a collage of four cooking related photos

I posted about my unorganized recipe binder a couple of weeks ago, and want to report that I did get it nearly completed, but then I pulled out all the sleeves holding recipes I wanted to make over the holidays. Now those all need to go back in the binder, and I still have to file a few more that I didn’t get to from the pile of recipe clippings and print-outs. I also weeded out duplicates that probably got reprinted when we couldn’t find the one we had already printed. (I found three copies of the recipe for Spicy Cranberry Salsa, not counting the original Boston Globe newspaper clipping that inspired our family’s version.)

Also, full confession time…The recipe binder was given to me THREE Christmases ago as an unfinished project, not one, or possibly even two, as I had thought. (Yikes! How time flies!)

We were able to have our adult children plus one lovely fiancee visit with precautions, but there was none of the hustle and bustle involved with getting to gatherings with extended family, as those were all canceled.

With this holiday season being so strangely quiet, I actually got to make maybe two-thirds of the recipes I had (sort of) planned to make.

I had three epic fails.

Epic Fail #1

Epic Fail #1 happened before the kids were here, and I tried to follow along on a virtual North Pole Happy Hour to make three holiday cocktails from scratch: Cousin Eddie’s Eggnog; Mexican Hot Chocolate; and Cherry Lime Rickeys. The online instruction was a little confusing and I couldn’t find my food thermometer. Long story short, the eggnog curdled and had to be thrown out. (Luckily, I realized before putting any bourbon in!) The other drinks came out OK, but we had to substitute raspberries for the cherries and I didn’t really follow the recipe and just did my own thing. The Mexican Hot Chocolate was easy (I’ve made it before, anyway) but I was so heartbroken at the loss of the eggnog that it took me a while to recover. I really shouldn’t have been surprised that I messed this recipe up, because I more often than not have trouble getting recipes involving eggs and milk (like custard) to come out right; my cooking time is usually off. (See also Fudge, Epic Fail #2, below.)

I posted the Lime Rickeys picture on Instagram and didn’t tell the virtual instructor that the drinks were made with raspberries instead.

Epic Fail #2

Epic Fail #2 was an attempt to make plain chocolate fudge from the recipe that my mother and her mother before her used to whip up around the holidays with pretty consistent success and nary a candy thermometer in sight. The recipe involves cooking unsweetened chocolate, milk, sugar, and butter to the soft-ball stage, adding vanilla extract and a gob of marshmallow fluff, and beating it with an electric hand mixer with the bottom of the pan in ice water until just the right moment when you can pour the fudge out smoothly onto a piece of waxed paper. If you beat it too little, it will run all over the place, but if you beat it too long it will start to harden in the pan. Easy, right?

I try this recipe every few years or so – vowing every time not to wait so long before trying again because each time I feel that I was so close to getting it right. I always go wrong at the soft-ball stage – cooking it too long or not long enough. This time, the fudge was edible, but it was too runny to pour onto waxed paper (I had to cheat and put the wax paper into a pie plate) and it was too soft to cut into squares without an overnight stint in the refrigerator.

I can’t find any pictures of my fudge-making attempt, and it definitely didn’t make it onto Instagram, but I’ll share a picture of the recipe card. (Which obviously should have been kept in its protective clear plastic sleeve.)

Epic Fail #3

This one was the worst, I think for wasting food. The eggnog was bad, but it was just eggs, milk, and white sugar and not a huge time investment. For Epic Fail #3, I was making a vegetarian entree based on a recipe from the Purely Pumpkin cookbook by Allison Day. I had already cleaned the seeds out and baked a whole sugar pumpkin, and now I was making the quinoa mushroom stuffing for it.

In pandemic cooking mode, I decided to use a big bag of dried mushrooms that I found in a basement overflow storage cabinet. They had to be reconstituted with boiling water, so I poured the whole bag into a big stainless steel bowl and poured the boiling water over it to steep while I put the rest of the recipe together — chopping, sauteeing, adding the vegetables to the cooked, tri-color quinoa. All that was left was to add the mushrooms and the water they had soaked in, and then I could stuff the pumpkin. (I had been cooking for about an hour on just this part of the recipe, keep in mind.)

I triumphantly poured the mushrooms and their water into big bowl holding all the other ingredients and there, sitting on top of the reconstituted mushrooms, was one of those little silica gel packets that say “Do Not Eat”.

I must have stared at that packet for a full minute. I couldn’t believe it. I was the only one in the kitchen, and I confess I did consider the possibility of throwing the packet in the trash and going on with the recipe instead of having to throw away all of my hard work. How harmful could a little packet like that actually be? What if I took the mushrooms out and cooked fresh mushrooms to put in their place? But what about all that soaking water?

When I pictured myself serving the meal, though, I realized of course, the stuffing couldn’t be salvaged and I dumped the whole mixture in the trash. That was the last of the quinoa, so I made the dish into a vegetarian side (we already had vegetarian lasagna as an entree anyway) and stuffed the pumpkin with whatever vegetables weren’t already spoken for plus frozen peas.

I had recipe successes this holiday season, too, including the St. Stephen’s Horseshoes (aka Gluten-Free Cinnamon Rolls) but these three epic fails I blame on the year 2020! I include them here as a final farewell to the epic Year from Hell.

I never did try making homemade eggnog again (There’s always next Christmas!), but my husband made some delicious coquito (a sweet coconut-flavored drink with rum) and my homemade Irish Cream came out pretty well again this year.

I infused my own cranberry vodka, which was a good mixer for holiday cocktails.

The Gingerbread Cake from ATK’s I Can’t Believe It’s Gluten-Free cookbook is definitely a keeper for next Christmas, but I didn’t get to make it until New Year’s Eve, and it’s too big for just two people!

Happy New Year and Happy Weekend Cooking!


Weekend Cooking is hosted by Marg at The Intrepid Reader and Baker. Visit her blog for more Weekend Cooking posts from other bloggers!

Weekend Cooking hosted by Marg at The Intrepid Reader and Baker
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